I could hear myself thinking in my sleep
My daughter figured it out before I did.
She was about 11.
We were in the car and I didn’t even realize what I was doing until she said,
“Mommy, I can tell when you’re anxious.”
I laughed.
“How?”
She said,
“You tap the steering wheel. But off beat.”
We laughed again.
But she was right.
My body was speaking a language I hadn’t learned to read yet.
The off-beat tapping.
The chest that feels heavy,
not painful, just tight,
like a breath that never quite lands.
The legs that won’t stay still.
The fingers that find something to tap without permission.
And the nights.
Waking up with thoughts already running.
Not waking up and then thinking,
Woken by the thinking.
There are times I can hear myself thinking while I’m sleeping.
If you know, you know.
This is what it actually feels like.
Not panic.
Not a breakdown.
Nothing dramatic enough to name.
Just constant.
A hum that never fully stops.
And the part most people miss?
This doesn’t feel like anxiety.
It feels like:
“I’m just a light sleeper.”
“I’ve always been like this.”
“I just have a lot on my mind.”
But here’s what I’ve learned,
both in my work and in my own body,
Your body has been trying to tell you something for years.
You just weren’t taught to listen.
The tapping wasn’t random.
It was information.
The tight chest—information.
The thoughts that follow you into sleep—information.
And when your nervous system has been running like this for long enough…
This becomes your normal.
So now,
Rest doesn’t feel like rest.
Stillness feels uncomfortable.
Slowing down feels like something is about to go wrong.
The Tool: Interrupt the loop (body first)
The next time your mind starts running,
especially at night,
Don’t follow the thoughts.
Interrupt them.
Start here:
👉 Where is this showing up in my body?
Chest?
Jaw?
Shoulders?
Legs?
Don’t fix it.
Just find it.
Then:
👉 Put your attention there for 10 seconds.
Not your thoughts.
Your body.
Because your nervous system doesn’t calm down
when you figure it out.
It settles
when it feels noticed.
And this is where most women get stuck
You can do this once.
Maybe even a few times.
But when this has been your baseline for years…
Your body doesn’t just “turn off” because you told it to.
This is deeper work.
Not just noticing.
Not just coping.
But actually learning how to come out of that constant state of alert.
If this felt familiar,
not just in your head, but in your body,
this is exactly what I’m going deeper into in my workshop:
Regulated: A Workshop for Women Who Hold It All
Because this isn’t about thinking differently.
It’s about learning how to work with your nervous system
so your body doesn’t have to stay on all the time.
We’ll spend 90 minutes slowing this down
and practicing what regulation actually feels like.
Early bird pricing ends April 14th.
Use code SOFTER10 for $10 off.
Register here:
If your body has been trying to get your attention lately…
it’s not always just stress or anxiety.
Sometimes there are underlying things—hormones, metabolism, inflammation—that can show up in ways that feel mental, but start physically.
I came across Allara, a platform focused on women’s health, and I appreciated how they look at the full picture—not just symptoms in isolation.
If you’ve been feeling “off” in your body and can’t quite explain it, this might be worth exploring.
Feeling off lately? It could be your hormones.
Allara helps women understand the root cause of their hormonal or metabolic symptoms with a comprehensive care team that combines expert medical and nutrition guidance. Whether you're managing PCOS, fertility challenges, perimenopause, thyroid conditions, or unexplained symptoms, you'll get a personalized care plan backed by advanced diagnostic testing and ongoing support. This isn't about quick fixes. It's about getting clarity and feeling like yourself again, with care that's accessible virtually and covered by insurance.
— Until next week
Moya
On the Mend