If Thanksgiving feels heavy this year...

🥀The truth? Not everyone is walking into next week with joy.

Some of us are carrying things you don’t see when you glance at a pretty Thanksgiving table.

Some of us are grieving.

Some of us are bracing.

Some of us are pretending.

Some of us are barely keeping it together.

And deep down, we know it.

So before we get swallowed by the “Happy Thanksgiving!” messages everywhere, let’s tell the truth women rarely get permission to say out loud:

Holidays are ENTIRELY built on a woman’s labor.

The planning is yours.

The cleaning is yours.

The grocery lists, the timelines, the seating charts, the emotional tone of the whole day —

that all falls on you.

You’re the one who remembers everyone’s allergies, everyone’s preferences, everyone’s feelings.

You’re the one smoothing conflict, entertaining kids, managing overstimulation, and keeping the day “special,” whether you’re exhausted or grieving or anxious or over it.

And still, we’re the ones who feel guilty for needing a break.

Let’s name what this week really asks from women, and more importantly, how to breathe through it with your nervous system intact.

🌧️Why Thanksgiving feels heavy for so many women

Because behind the greens and cinnamon-scented candles, a lot of us are carrying things no one talks about:

💔 The first holiday without someone you love

There’s an empty chair no one has words for.

🏚️ Old family dynamics that never changed

The unresolved conflict.

The silence.

The person who “acts fine” but hasn’t apologized for anything… ever.

🧍‍♀️ Childhood trauma that still lives in your body

Sitting at a table with the same person who hurt you, because

“it’s family”

and

“don’t make it weird.”

Your mind tries to be an adult.

Your nervous system remembers being a child.

🧓 Caregiving that has drained you dry

Aging parents. Medical decisions.

Running on fumes.

💔 Divorce or separation changing everything

Traditions don’t look the same.

And you don’t feel the same either.

🧠 The mental load of being the default parent

Thanksgiving isn’t a holiday for you,

it’s unpaid emotional labor wrapped in guilt, expectations, and other people’s moods.

And sometimes, the pressure to “make it magical” for everyone else while ignoring your own exhaustion is the final straw.

🫀Your body isn’t crazy, it’s reacting to years of emotional history

If you feel irritated, tense, or on edge this week, nothing is wrong with you.

Your body is responding to:

Your nervous system reacts to patterns, not holiday calendars.

You’re not dramatic.

You’re not negative.

You’re not “making it a big deal.”

You’re human.

🌿A Grounding Plan for Next Week

These are small, doable, private ways to protect your peace:

1. Bathroom Break Reset

Hand on your chest.

Long exhale.

Tell your body: I’m safe enough right now.

2. Step Outside for 30 Seconds

Air on your face, feet on the ground.

Instant downshift.

3. Choose Ease Over Aesthetics

Paper plates are not a moral failure.

Neither is store-bought pie.

4. Pre-Decide Your Boundaries

What’s one thing you’ll say yes to?

What’s one thing you will not do?

You matter too.

5. Have an Exit Plan

Say early:

“We’ll stay for a bit, then head out.”

And stick to it.

6. You’re Allowed to Say No

If the big dinner feels overwhelming or unsafe,

a quieter Thanksgiving with just your immediate family still counts.

Small can be sacred.

7. Take Separate Cars

This is an elite boundary.

Show up, be kind,

and leave when your body says, “that’s enough.”

I’m a strong believer in taking people and situations in dosage.

Not everyone deserves unlimited access to your nervous system.

8. Come for Dessert Only

Pop in for pie.

Warm hello.

Warm goodbye.

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

💛A gentle reminder before next week

You are allowed to show up in the version of yourself you can manage —

not the one everyone expects.

You do not owe anyone a performance.

You do not owe anyone emotional labor.

You do not owe anyone access to the woman you’ve worked hard to become.

And if this holiday feels complicated for you in ways you don’t have words for,

I see you.

I’ve walked into holidays carrying more than anyone knew.

You’re not alone in this.

When the day ends, choose gentleness with yourself.

That’s the part no one teaches us,

but it’s the part that heals us.

🌼PS — Your Rest & Digest Guide Is Still Coming

The formatting took longer than expected (design gremlins 🫠),

but the guide is coming,

and I want it to be something you can actually use, not rush.

Thank you for your patience.

Until Next Tuesday

Moya