In partnership with
I’ve been fighting something off for a few days now.
Not sick enough to stop.
But not well enough to feel like myself either.
And if you’re the strong one in your house, you already know,
Sick doesn’t mean the world stops.
It just means you move slower
while still holding everything.
Today, my daughter called from school.
Another ask.
A Galentine’s thing.
A basketball party the next day.
“Can I go?”
Before I could answer, she paused and asked:
“Did you take some medicine?”
I told her yes.
Then she laughed and said,
“Come on mom, we’re warriors. Me and you. You gotta thug it out.”
She meant it playfully.
I laughed too.
But it landed heavier than she realized.
Because she says this about herself sometimes too,
when she’s hurt,
when she’s tired,
when something doesn’t feel good.
And I always correct her.
“You don’t have to thug it out.”
“It’s okay to rest.”
“It’s okay to not be okay.”
But today something shifted.
I’m starting to see what she’s been watching.
Not in a dramatic way.
Not with blame.
Just awareness.
She’s been learning what strength looks like
by watching how I move through the world.
And if I’m honest…
I learned it the same way.
My mom loved hard.
She worked hard.
She held everything together.
And I learned that strength meant pushing through.
Some of that strength protected me.
I don’t think I would have survived certain seasons without it.
But there’s a difference between resilience
and overfunctioning.
Resilience is choosing to rise.
Overfunctioning is not feeling safe enough to fall apart.
And that difference matters.
Because when we live in overfunctioning long enough,
our nervous system starts to pay the price.
Last week I wrote about hormones and how they directly impact the nervous system, serotonin, cortisol, sleep, emotional regulation.
When estrogen and progesterone fluctuate,
your body can shift into fight-or-flight without your permission.
Now layer that on top of being “the strong one.”
The 3pm crash.
The wired-but-tired feeling at night.
The irritability you can’t quite explain.
We’re quick to call it stress.
Or personality.
Or “just being busy.”
Sometimes it is.
And sometimes it’s worth getting curious about what’s happening under the surface.
In partnership with Allara
If you’ve been feeling off lately — exhausted, anxious, foggy, reactive — it might not be a character flaw.
It might be your hormones.
Allara offers comprehensive lab testing and personalized care designed specifically for women navigating fatigue, cycle changes, weight fluctuations, and mood shifts.
Because sometimes the answer isn’t “try harder.”
It’s “look closer.”
Feeling off lately? It could be your hormones.
3pm crashes every day. Unexpected weight gain. Unpredictable cycles. When symptoms start piling up, your hormones and metabolic health are often part of the story.
Allara helps women understand what's really going on with comprehensive hormone and metabolic testing. Their advanced testing goes beyond the basics to measure key markers like insulin, thyroid function, reproductive hormones, and metabolic health. Whether you already have a diagnosis or are still searching for answers, Allara's care team uses your results to create a personalized treatment plan with expert medical and nutrition guidance.
They treat a wide range of women’s health conditions, including PCOS, fertility challenges, weight management, perimenopause, thyroid conditions, and more.
With Allara, you get clarity, expert support, and a personalized care plan all for as little as $0 with insurance. This isn’t about quick fixes. It’s about understanding your body and addressing the root causes.
I’m not interested in pathologizing normal stress.
But I am interested in helping women stop assuming they have to muscle through everything.
Updating strength doesn’t mean losing it.
It means choosing it —
instead of defaulting to it.
Over the next few weeks, I’m going to break this down clearly:
• How to tell the difference between resilience and overfunctioning
• Why high-functioning women rarely “fall apart” — and what that’s costing them
• And how to update strength without losing your edge
If you’re the strong one in your house, stay with me and send this to a friend or group of women you feel would benefit from this space.
We’re not tearing strength down.
We’re refining it.
— Moya