You get the compliments.
“You always have it so together.”
The look of admiration.
The how do you do it all?
But baby —
if people could see inside that brain of ours?
This is me a lot days, lol
It wouldn’t be one clear thought at a time.
It would be everything.
All at once.
Jumping from topic to topic.
Never quite landing anywhere long enough to rest.
And I don’t know about you, but that kind of mental sprint?
It’s exhausting.
Let’s name this out loud.
This isn’t rumination.
It’s not replaying one problem over and over.
This is racing thoughts.
Fast. Restless. Constantly moving.
And here’s something I want to say clearly, because a lot of women need to hear it:
A lot of high-functioning women live here.
The ones who keep things running.
Who carry the calendar, the mental load, the invisible “don’t forgets.”
Who look calm and capable on the outside while their minds never fully shut off.
If that’s you, this isn’t a flaw.
It’s a nervous system that learned to stay alert.
When you’re the one everyone depends on, your brain learns that staying mobile equals staying safe.
So it scans.
Tracks.
Jumps ahead.
Not because you’re anxious.
But because you’re responsible.
It feels productive.
But your body never gets the message that it’s okay to settle.
That’s why you can end the day completely drained even when nothing “big” happened.
Even neutral thoughts take energy when they never land.
There’s no pause.
No exhale.
No moment where your system can say, we’re okay right now.
So the exhaustion builds — not from crisis, but from constant motion.
If your thoughts have been sprinting, here’s a gentle place to land.
No fixing required.
Sit back in your chair or on your bed and let your shoulders drop.
Look around and name three things you can see.
Not analyze. Just notice.
Then place one hand on your chest or stomach.
Take a slow breath in through your nose.
Longer breath out through your mouth.
Quietly say to yourself:
“I’m allowed to land.”
Choose one sensation to stay with — the chair holding you, the warmth in your hands, the rhythm of your breath.
If your thoughts jump, that’s okay. Each time, gently come back.
You’re not trying to stop your thoughts.
You’re giving your nervous system somewhere to touch down.
Before I close, one small thing I didn’t say earlier.
This newsletter actually started as a journal entry for me.
Each week, writing here is one of the ways I close out the tabs in my own mind. I get the thoughts out of my head and onto the page instead of carrying them into the night.
I use beehiiv to do that, not because it’s fancy, but because it makes it easy to turn messy thoughts into something contained and grounding. I also get to share my Y’all
If your mind has felt like it has nowhere to land, you could use it the same way. As a private journal. A weekly reflection. A passion project. Or just a place to unload what you’re holding.
No pressure to publish.
No pressure to be consistent.
Just a way to close a few tabs.
Quick transparency note: the link below is an affiliate link, which means if you choose to sign up, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only share tools I genuinely use, and that support the work we’re already doing here. As always, take what serves you and leave the rest.
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If this whole thing feels familiar, the racing thoughts, the exhaustion, the feeling like you should be fine but aren’t, you’re not scattered, and you’re not failing at calm.
You’re just tired of running without a finish line.
If your mind won’t land tonight, come sit here with me for a minute.
You’re not alone in this.
— Moya